


Go This Far

by TheGreatCatsby



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Manga Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 20:23:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3395198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They've brought in a ghoul for questioning."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Go This Far

“They've brought in a ghoul for questioning.” 

It's never just for questioning. 

“I want to see him.” They look at him, wonder if that's a good idea. They know it's not. 

But he goes to the ghoul detention center anyway, because really the person most at risk is himself. 

*

The name rolls off his tongue with an ease that it shouldn't. “Nishiki.” 

“Serpent,” the ghoul says, tilting his head to the side and studying him. “What's wrong with your hair?” 

Haise touches his hair. “Nothing.” 

Nishiki looks tired. “They caught me because of you,” he says. 

Haise notices the scar over his left eye. Thinks, that's different. 

Then he realizes what Nishiki is talking about. The wound in his stomach. He hadn't healed in time, and the investigators caught up with him. 

Haise had been taken off that case. 

“I should have gone back to making coffee,” Nishiki sighs. 

Haise just watches him. He's afraid that if he says anything, he might open up the part of his mind that's clawing to get out. Nishiki is the equivalent of pulling the pin on a grenade. He can take down Haise with just a few well-placed words about his past, something to trigger his memories. 

But he doesn't. So maybe they weren't enemies. 

*

There is nothing about a Kaneki in the CCG database. He can't help but look after a few days, because that's what Nishiki called him right before Haise lost control. Kaneki. 

“You've been looking for things you shouldn't,” Akira tells him. 

Haise nods. “I know.” 

“It's a path better left untouched,” she says. “I'd rather you didn't visit Serpent.” 

And he thinks, she knows too. Her and Arima. They must know. But he's never really thought about it until now. 

It would explain the way Akira looks at him sometimes. It isn't a nice look. It's like she sees something there that she can't stand, if she looks long enough. 

Arima has never given anything away, but Arima never does. 

*

The Quinx Squad is young. Haise himself is young. It occurs to him that Nishiki is young, too. 

Haise uncovers information about Nishiki, presumably more recent discoveries by the investigators on his case. Nishiki was, at one time, a pharmacy student at Kamii. So he was smart, Haise thinks. He must have blended in with the humans. Haise wonders if Nishiki wishes he were one. 

No one mentions that he's searched for more information, though they must know. Maybe they think it's futile. 

Then he goes back to visit Nishiki. 

Nishiki is still in the same cell, but something has changed. He doesn't stand when Haise arrives, doesn't even sit up. He's curled on his side, staring at the glass between him and freedom like he doesn't see anything. 

“What happened?” Haise asks. 

“I have information,” Nishiki rasps. 

Haise doesn't understand. He can think of at least one other ghoul who has information, and has never looked this bad. Unless...

“Why don't you just give it to them?” 

“Heh. You are still an idiot,” Nishiki says. “I'm not giving you all shit.” 

“Why?” 

“Your investigators killed my sister.” 

Haise wants to take a step back, but he doesn't. “I'm sorry.” 

“You want information, too,” Nishiki says. “But not what they want. You shouldn't even be here. You're just as bad of an investigator as you were a ghoul.” The words should bite, but Nishiki is tired, so they don't as much. Still...

“Ghoul,” Haise says. He hadn't been sure if he was like the others, but thought, perhaps, that he'd become a half-ghoul with the CCG. But this suggests there was a before. That Nishiki knew him as a ghoul. 

“You did have a denial phase,” Nishiki mutters. 

“You knew me as a ghoul,” Haise says. 

“You shouldn't be here,” Nishiki tells him. 

“Well, I am.” 

“And you want answers? Really?” 

Haise doesn't know. But it's burning at him. 

“Stuck between this life and the past,” Nishiki says, “between being a human and being a ghoul. You think you don't need to choose, but that's stupid. You have to.” 

The idea of the Quinx Squad, made up of half-ghouls, says that he doesn't. “Why can't I have both?” 

“It doesn't work that way.” 

Haise doesn't know what to say. He says, “Why won't you tell me?” 

“Because you haven't decided,” Nishiki says. “And maybe I like having the upper hand. Information is power. Don't you think you've been here too long?” 

He has. 

“Your masters are waiting.” 

“They're not—” but they are. 

Nishiki smirks at him. 

Haise wonders if they were friends, in the past, or if they hated each other. 

*

“If you want to be part of Serpent's case, fine, but I'm required to remind you about the risk Serpent presents to you,” Akira says. She's angry. But so is he. 

“You're torturing him,” he says. 

Akira shrugs. “He chose not to cooperate. He explicitly stated that he would not give us information. We have no choice but to force it out of him.” 

“That isn't,” Haise struggles with the words. He remembers fingers cracking. “It makes them monsters.” He just knows. 

Akira looks at him askance. “They're already monsters.” 

It angers him at the time, but later he remembers Akira's visits to her father's grave. Killed by ghouls. 

Casualties on both sides. 

*

“You're not gonna leave us, are you?” Shirazu asks. 

“What makes you say that?” 

Shirazu shrugs. “We heard you were asking about your past. You haven't been spending as much time with us.” 

It's been a slow shift, but Haise isn't sure he can just settle for going back to leading the squad without asking questions. “I don't know. But if I do, you'll be a great leader to the others.” 

Shirazu looks a bit shocked. “Really?” 

“Either you are or you aren't,” Haise says. “If you want to be, you'll step up to the challenge.” 

*

It takes him another week to say, “I want to be part of Serpent's case.” 

He doesn't visit Nishiki in the interim. Akira tells him that she'll let him know if there's a development, and he decides to believe her because he's spent so much of the last few weeks coming dangerously close to not trusting her. 

Two weeks later, she finds him at his desk and says, “Come with me.” 

“What?” 

“You wanted to be part of this,” she says, “then you will be. Come on.” 

They head to the ghoul detention center and straight to Nishiki's cell. When they get arrive, Arima is already standing there. And kneeling in front of him is a woman. 

Nishiki is also kneeling, hands pressed against the glass wall of his cell. He looks awful. In the time between Haise's last visit and this, the CCG have done a lot to him. It makes Haise's stomach churn. But the way he's looking at the woman kneeling in front of him makes Haise think that this, out of all things, will be the thing that breaks him. 

Arima gives them only a cursory glance as they come to stand next to him. He turns back to Nishiki and says, “The penalty for harboring a ghoul is steep. There is a lot we can do to your girlfriend with the proof we have.” 

“Kimi,” Nishiki says. He isn't looking at Arima, but at her. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” 

“It's okay,” the girl, Kimi, says. “I knew the risks.” 

“I thought if I ran--” he chokes, then weakly punches the glass. “I'm so stupid. We could have had more time.” 

“Her safety,” Arima says, “for your information.” 

Nishiki glares up at him. “Her freedom.” 

“You are not in the position to negotiate.” 

“I don't mind,” Kimi says, quietly, “if you don't want to give them information. A lot of people will come to harm if you do.” 

“Kimi,” Nishiki chokes. 

“I don't mind,” Kimi repeats. “I knew the risks.” 

Nishiki turns his eyes on Haise. They're burning with sudden rage. “How can you just stand there, useless?” he shouts. “Do something! Help her like you did before! You have power now, and you're just standing there wasting it?” He punches the glass, harder. “Come on, Kaneki! You can't have it both ways!” 

Haise stares at him. It's like he's been frozen. He can't move, can't even think. 

Nishiki punches the glass again and again, shouting, “Kaneki, Kaneki, Kaneki, Kaneki!” 

“I will give you until morning to decide,” Arima cuts him off. “What happens to her is entirely up to you.” He grabs Kimi and drags her away. 

Nishiki collapses against the glass, sobbing. 

And Akira grabs Haise's arm because he can't move, and pulls him towards the exit. 

*

Morning is less than six hours away. 

If Haise were to do something, he would have to deal with an injured ghoul and a human woman. He has his quinque, but that isn't a guarantee of anything. 

And, if he did something, there would be no returning to life as an investigator. He'd essentially be putting his life in Nishiki's hands. 

If Nishiki even has anything to go back to. 

But Kimi is human. And Nishiki loves her, and she loves him. It pulls at Haise the way nothing else has so far. It makes him feel strongly that this should be protected. Perhaps it's because he's half-ghoul. 

Perhaps he had someone, once. 

Perhaps he's tired of fighting. 

Haise finds himself going back to the detention center. 

Nishiki is still slumped against the glass. He notices Haise and says, “I wish I could die.” 

Haise doesn't say anything, because he can't think of anything. His mind is turning over and over and over, and the terrible thing that's always there wants to claw its way out again, and this is risking so much. But Haise thinks, that thing will never be quiet even if he stays, will it? 

He turns and walks away, goes deeper into the facility. 

Kimi is being kept near the labs, in a much less secure cell, but for a human, it's enough. Haise can get her out with the swipe of a card. When she looks up at him, he can see recognition and confusion. 

“What happened to you?” she asks. 

Haise unlocks the cell. “I don't know,” he admits, “but I know I can't let this happen.” 

With Kimi, he returns to Nishiki's cell. “Can you stand?” he asks. The glass lifts, and Nishiki nearly falls forward. Kimi goes to help him up and he smiles at her. 

They start making their way out of the facility. 

They can't take a car, not one belonging to the CCG. Haise is surprised that they haven't encountered resistance, but he has every right to be here as a first class investigator, so perhaps that's why. Luck is on their side as they reach the cool night air. 

“I know a place,” Nishiki says, and they walk. 

It amazes Haise that they can get far, that Nishiki is somehow finding strength to even stand let alone walk. Kimi helps him, but still. Again this seems familiar somehow, like Nishiki's tenacity is something he's known before. 

They come to a small building with a sign reading “:re” and Nishiki hits the door with his palm. 

“Here,” he says, and passes out. 

Kimi keeps him from falling completely, and Haise helps her lift him, and then the door opens revealing a young woman with purple hair. And Haise realizes he's been here before. 

This is a coffee shop. 

The woman looks at them and at Haise and says, “Come in,” and they do, and she leads them into a back room and Nishiki is laid on a couch. He curls onto his side, shaking. 

“They tortured him,” Haise says. 

The woman looks at him, nods, and leaves them for a moment. When she returns she places two cups of coffee on the small table in the middle of the room, and a package that smells enticing opposite the drinks. Haise eyes it for a moment before looking down at his coffee. 

Nishiki moans but doesn't wake. 

“He'll need to eat this,” the woman says to Kimi, indicating the package. “When he wakes up. It'll help.” 

Kimi nods. The woman is wary of Kimi, but there is also something else there. Haise has the feeling the two of them have met before. 

“You can stay here,” the woman adds, “if you have nowhere else to go. And if you,” this to Haise, “don't bring doves to our door.” 

“You're a ghoul,” Haise says. The woman stares at him. He adds, “I've had coffee here.” 

The woman rolls her eyes. When Haise looks at her, now, it hurts. Her name is on the tip of his tongue and his head aches, fighting with the twisted thing that wants to take over, but he forces it back. He'll have to learn to force it back while letting the memories through, if this is what he's chosen. 

“I'm Haise Sasaki,” he says, “but I think you know me as Kaneki.” He says the name and he doesn't lose himself, and that's a start. 

The woman nods. She searches his face. And says, “I'm Touka.”


End file.
